A question that I still don’t know the answer to…’Should we cuddle babies or leave them to cry?’

I found this article in The Independent very interesting. This remains a question that I don’t know the answer to. My little one at 20 months still cries himself to sleep some nights and more often then not, will wake up crying in the night. I have read book after book and weighed up the endless advice streams in my own mind and still I don’t know what’s best.

What I do know however, is when my little man starts to cry, I find it VERY hard NOT to tend to him.

It could be argued then, that the reason he wakes up crying in the night is because he won’t go back to sleep until I have run in to stroke his head. And the reason he wakes up so early in the morning and is not good at settling himself back to sleep is because I am not there in the room with him.

When his early mornings were getting silly, i’m talking 4.30am, my other half took control and told me that we should leave him. He wasn’t ill or in pain, and the crying wouldn’t hurt him. We did this and at 4.30 my other half had a screaming baby in one room and a sobbing girlfriend in his room. Needless to say, none of us went back to sleep! But, after a couple of very distressing mornings he did get better.

Over time I have got better at not rushing to our little man’s side. I put him to bed awake but tired and he never really cries for more then five minutes. Sometime, he doesn’t cry at all!

No amount of words will change how a parent feels and I feel that it has to be down to the individuals as to how they deal with their baby. We may not agree with other peoples methods but we have to respect them.



5 thoughts on “A question that I still don’t know the answer to…’Should we cuddle babies or leave them to cry?’

  1. I’m a strong believer in if my baby cries in the middle of the night for longer than a reasonable amount of time (5 minutes), I go see what’s the matter. If she needs holding for a while, then I hold her, no matter the time. Because think about it, I’m pretty sure baby is restless, too, and doesn’t want to be up so early. Eventually baby will go to sleep.
    In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with getting up in the middle of the night to hold your baby because he is crying. I do agree with you about teaching your baby to fall asleep on his own. But I think with consistency he will eventually get the hang of it.
    I know it is quite challenging when you are so tired (trust me I get frustrated too), but our babies rely on us Mommies to comfort them and be there for them.
    Just a thought…
    But I completely respect your method, too. Just thought I’d share my method. 🙂 Good luck!

    • Thank you for your comment Jenn.

      5 minutes is my cut off time too with leaving him to cry.

      I agree what over time, with consistency they will get there. And I can’t help but think he’ll be 13 before I know it and locking me out of his room! 🙂

      If he needs his mummy I’m there!!!

      How’s your little girl sleeping? x

      • Yeah, I have an almost 13-year-old, 10-year-old, and now 3-month-old…the older kids definitely lock me out of the room…but come crying to me when they’re sick, etc. LOL Never a dull moment when you’re a mother! 🙂

  2. I agree, I would leave them for a few minutes to see if they’ll settle, my youngest tends to wake up a few times in the night but nearly always settles again. I can usually tell if it’s a cry that says he really needs me.

    • That is very true – I can normally tell if it’s a real cry or not. I’m just a bit of a sucker for the crying in general! Am getting better at it though!. Thank you for your comment x

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